Archive for February 2010

Why’d You Have to Go and Paint Over the Wood Panelling Like That

February 26, 2010

Nothing is going to boost your tattoo studio’s street cred like advertising on a sensible family station wagon.  Parking in front of the Hobby Lobby probably doesn’t help much though.

[As Seen at Hobby Lobby on E. 70th by Brandi]

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This Week in Bossier

February 25, 2010

Ah, teen hijinks involving underage drinking, drugs, and general prankery.  If only Michael Cera was available to deliver the story in a dry monotoned voice.

Two teenagers were arrested Saturday night for cruelty to juveniles and contributing to the delinquency of juveniles.

According to the Bossier Parish Sheriff’s Office, Zacharey T. Rushing, 18, who is homeless, and Bryce A. Leon, 17, of the 500 block of Valerie Lane in Haughton, were taken into custody after Rushing drove Leon and three 16-year-old males to Walmart where Rushing stole some alcoholic beverages.  They all then went to another part of the parish and drank the beer.

I’ll assume that the alcohol was in detergent bottles.

In addition to drinking the beer, one of the juveniles consumed Xanax, seven bars of which were recovered from Rushing’s vehicle.  Eventually, one of the juveniles was dumped at Highway 80 and Bellevue Road.  He was left on the sidewalk until he was found by police.

McLovin still remains at large.

Direct Flights to Redneck Paradise, Now Available

February 24, 2010

Rejoice o people of the Port City, your cries have been heard, your prayers have been answered, and your insatiable hunger for homemade fudge and the melodic guitar picking fingers of Roy Clark has been satiated…direct flights from Shreveport to Branson are now avaliable.

Shreveport Regional Airport announced Monday that it will provide non-stop service to Branson, Mo., beginning May 17 through December.

The service will run in Shreveport on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. The one-way cost is $39. Times have yet to be determined.

The flights are offered through Branson Air Express, which has contracted with ExpressJet Airlines Inc. to operate the service.

This calls for celebration…in song of course.

[As Seen in the Shreveport Times by The Mayor]

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Mean Muggin’

February 23, 2010

ASIS, inspired by great moments in mugshot history, will now feature a weekly segment that, thanks to the magic of the internet and the good people at the Caddo Correctional Center,  some of the finer photos of abrupt incarceration.  Enjoy.

Kanika Evans, arrested for theft…likely because her hair has stolen the hearts of an American nation overrun with the Olympic spirit.

BONUS MUGGIN’…

Michael Shane Storey, arrested for domestic battery…which seems like an obvious conclusion given his shirt.

[As Seen in the Shreveport Times by Frat Guy]

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Jumping the Shark

February 23, 2010

On their own, each of these vehicle accessories are fairly harmless, but when combined they are an unstoppable force of utter fail to be reckoned with.

[As Seen at Golden Corral on Youree by Aaron, Dusty, and Christina]

Urban Cowboy

February 22, 2010

After a long day riding the dusty trails, cowboys appreciate WalMart’s everyday low prices just as much as the next guy.  Now where to park that horse…

[As Seen at Walmart on Westport by Gabe]

The Handican

February 22, 2010

I was not aware that hoarding was an acceptable and recogizable handicap in today’s society.  I stand corrected.

[As Seen at Mall St. Vincent by Nico]